Richard Gere’s character in
Shall We Dance says the following to his wife after she finds out that he has been taking dance lessons without her knowledge.
“The one thing I am proudest of in my whole life is that you're happy with me. If I couldn't, if I couldn't tell you that I was unhappy sometimes, is because I didn't want to risk hurting the one person I treasure most. I'm so sorry.”
We all change and grow and learn and love. Many times even the different parts of ourselves change and grow and learn and love at different paces. It doesn’t mean that we are unhappy with our life. It doesn’t mean that we don’t love our family. It just means that we are living….we grow…….we change…..we need different things…..it doesn’t mean that we want everything to change….but it can mean that a change is needed…….whether it is dance lessons, traveling to new places, learning organic gardening…………To live is to grow……to grow is to change……..if we don’t change and grow……… we die.
In Sue Monk Kidd’s new book
Traveling with Pomegranates, Sue and her daughter, Ann; engage us in the “passing of the baton” of womanhood from mother to daughter. As I sat on the beach this past weekend and immersed myself into their story, it wasn’t hard to see the similarities in our lives……it felt as if the words were written just for me……me…pushing 50……,,.me…….starting to create my own new world (while keeping many parts of it the same)……no longer the mom of small children……..no longer creating new life within myself…….learning that creating is life…..whether it be creating a baby, a poem, a work of art, a great dinner, a loving home…………..me,, with beautiful, articulate daughters that are each finding their own unique voice and style..….......becoming…..becoming who they are…….…who God made them to be………….ready…ready to take the world by storm………..ready to create…..new lives, new loves, new spirit…………and in the midst of all this change…..recognition of the miraculous voice of the divine in each of the changes.
And still…..there is the ever so subtle feeling of loss……loss of youth….loss of “mommy hood”, loss of skin without wrinkles………And in my determination to work through the feelings of loss… a new sense of power at my own becoming……becoming someone who isn’t so involved in looks and things…..someone who is a good teacher and healer……..someone who is able to take the world in her arms…….someone who can see children (of all ages) from all over the world as her own children….someone who is growing into a wiser old woman…..a more laid back woman…..a much more spiritual woman……I am on my way to becoming the woman I am to be for this second half of my life…………….and I’m liking her….especially her strength and her compassion.
And I am able to watch my girls, as they begin the newness of their own lives….being out on their own for the first time…..learning to love……..…..learning how to hold on to who they really are while learning about relationships……..finding their own way through life…………..learning about change………….. I get to watch all of this with much love and with a heart bursting with pride at the women that they are becoming.
What wonderful journeys we all are on.